Ace of Base

Dear Ace-

Why are you still on the American Idol, Ace? I realize that I am a hetero male, and therefore, not your target audience, but seriously, who do you think you are fooling? You have an OK-ish voice, but we are so over the pleading eyes and the blushing cheeks that we can hardly watch anymore. At my house, we call you the Pleading Whipdog, because you always look tenderly at the audience as though you are a dog who was just harshly beaten. It is that look that says, "Please, I'm so tender and innocent. Just love me." 

We know, now, that you have a scar on your chest, but did you think that just because you point to it while singing about a scar that you would win us over? "Sweetie!" I would say to my wife, "Ace just sang a line about a scar, AND pointed to a REAL scar on his chest at the same time! Start text messaging those votes!" It may have one you some extra "one on one" time with Paula, but it didn't do you any favors at our house. Does Taylor point to his hair when he sings a song with the word "gray" in it? Does Bucky point to his teeth when singing a song with the word "snaggle" in it? Does Elliot point to his whole person when singing a song with "dufus" in it? No. EW had it right. No more literal hand gestures. 

How you are still on the show, we'll never know. I guess I don't ever vote, though so I can't complain about you, just like I can't complain about the President. Wait a minute, I did vote for him. Hey, Bush! What's up?!

In case you are wondering, Ace, we're rooting for Taylor. I would actually buy a Taylor CD. His voice is that good/interesting. I know, I know. I said I would actually buy a CD by Justin Guarini, too. And no, I didn't. But I did buy the Buddy Jewel CD AND the Brad Cotter CD, so I'm not all talk. (Those were the first two winners of Nashville Star, in case you were wondering.)

Anyway, you suck. Go home.

Love, 

The Binghams

PS. Tell Paris she looked like an Avon Lady/Jehovah's Witness last night. She's next after you