Curious

Here are some alternate titles for this blog:
Just Shut Up Already!
The Birds and the Bees
Bindi Bingham?
Why Grandma is a Bad Influence
One Dad, Two Moms and Two Zookeepers

It all started the other day.  My 5 year old asked, as we were driving in the car, "What's the thing called that happens when you like someone?" and when pushed for further information said, "I don't want to say it!" real embarrassed-like.  Josh and I looked at each other and raised our eyebrows.  Would we really have to have the sex-talk with our 5 year old?  With all the love in my heart, I passed it to my husband to handle.  He had a long, private conversation with my Jonah, who, come to find out, was asking about falling in love.

Ever since then, he's been obsessed with love and marriage and being an adult, and he talks about it incessantly.  He NEVER. STOPS. TALKING.  And I don't mean he asks a question, I answer, I ask a question, he answers. . .it's a nonstop assault of words.  I actually found myself saying today, "Stop talking about Bindi!  I'm done talking about Bindi!" just to get a reprieve from his latest scheme to, at the ripe old age of 18, move to Australia.  "Where's Australia?  Is it in North America?  Is it in South America?  How long does it take to get there?  Is Bindi a real girl?  How old is she?  Could I go to her house?" He's moving to Australia to marry Bindi the Jungle Girl and there's nothing I can do to keep him from talking about it. (And don't get me started on why my TV-ambivalent son (if he really is my son, since the whole TV-ambivalence thing makes us question it) will only watch Bindi the Jungle Girl.  Could there be a more annoying show/person?  Crikey!)

He's also super obsessed with marriage.  I think it's tied to his desire to be an adult, like, yesterday.  First, he wanted to marry his cousin, Bella.  He loves his cousin, Bella, but I think in his 5 y/o mind she's the only girl he knows and, therefore, was his only prospect.  He also asked if it was okay if families just have dads, and we responded yes, thinking he was referring to single-parent families.  Then he asked if he could marry his best (boy) friend from school, Reece.  Today, he remembered he had an actual girl friend at school named Katie but "I want to marry someone with the same color skin as me."  Seriously, how many "special" conversations is one mom required to have with her son in such a short amount of time?

On top of everything, today, as we were walking home from school, he used, "What the hell??" so confidently. . .so matter-of-fact-ly that it would seem he may have said it once or twice before.  We're supposed to ignore those things, right?  I asked him about it, but then dropped it.  Later, when he said it again, at the dinner table, I couldn't let it go.  "Where did you hear those words?  Did you hear them from kids at school?"  "No."  "Did you hear them from me?" "No."  (p.s. Yes.)  "Who did you hear them from?"  And he says, "Grandma says them."  I really should end the blog here and watch my mother and mother-in-law die of embarrassment from the implication that he learned his swear words from them.  But if you know Jonah's grandmas, you know that there are no two people on earth who swear less than the two of them.  But man, was it funny.

Luckily I still have a 4 year old who makes very little rational sense at any given time.  Though he did have a gem today.  "Mom, we're going to be a dad, two moms, and two zookeepers."  "WHA. . .???"  "Well, Dad's a dad and you're a mom and Lila will be a mom and Jonah and I will be zookeepers."  Sometimes I wish I was the zookeeper.  *sigh*

And here's a couple of pictures for those potty-mouthed grandmas:

Josh got Lila dressed today.

Looking real bored at the Children's Museum.

This is much harder than it looks.