Now it is just making me sad....

It started out kinda funny. Like, "Hey, let's see what how horrible that Indian kid is tonight on American Idol!" But we knew he would go away soon. There was no way he would last too long, like that Antonella girl and her skanky past (and future?) And then came the week with the roll-brushed hair. And I started to feel a little bad for him. He is just a kid! He doesn't have enough of a personality to say to the stylist, "Don't roll-brush my hair!" And then came the slicked back hair and the fedora....ouch. "Surely, he will be eliminated now!" the people cried. "What?! He is in the final twelve!?"

Well, I knew he wouldn't last long. First, his song was awful. And second, what was up with the sponge rollers the night before and the big silver hoop earrings. He looked a lot like Miss Five, which is a great look for a young grad student, but not for a teenage boy on a reality show. And then he made it through again! What is going on.

Just let him go, America! I know it is sort of funny to see his hair and listen to him sing like a little boy at the ward talent show. And maybe you get some sick pleasure when the judges rightfully tear him apart. But don't you think it is sort of sad to see a little boy become the butt of America's communal joke? Just let him go....But, WHAT! He is STILL on the show! Of all the singers in America, you are telling me his in the top 11?

Of course, he did sign up for this. In fact, he tried really, really hard to get on this show. He would probably be really disappointed if he wasn't on the show now. Oh, well. I guess he deserves it. This is what I am hoping to see next week:

Gender Identity Issues

Table and Singlepot
So I was at McDonald's today. I am a frequent customer, most often when the weather is bad and I can't face any other outings. The kids run around, I get my diet coke and french fries, and all is well with the world. Except today, when I discovered that the happy meal toys were divided, as they often are, by gender. Yu-Gi-Oh! for the boys and The Littlest Pet shop for the girls. But my two boys wanted the pets. . .and couldn't have cared less about the others.

Even while ordering them the "girl's meal," I began to feel a bit sick to my stomach (and no, it wasn't the food). Then, the toys arrived. One was a white cat on a peach pedastal with a heart-shaped keychain, the other similarly designed, but a monkey with a pink bow. I don't know why it bothered me so much -- I couldn't stop thinking about it. Should I have ordered the other toys? Should I try to hide the toys from them now, before the other kids see? Did I force the pets upon them, and now they're going to have gender identity issues for life?

Let's be honest. . .there's not much we can do about the things to which our children take a liking. They both gravitate toward the trucks and trains, and our stuffed animals are high on a shelf in the playroom. But I like it that way, and, I suppose, am at least partially the reason they love what they love. You don't see dolls and strollers in the playroom. They own one million matchbox cars, and they surely didn't do anything to earn the money to buy them for themselves. At one point, I put those stuffed animals on the high shelf and haven't introduced them since. Am I perpetuating the gender stereotype that I feel I'm too socially evolved to uphold? And, if I am, should I be bothered by it? And, if I shouldn't, why do I (see guilt-ridden emotional breakdown at McDonald's)?

On Oprah the other day, Julia Roberts, made even duller by her new motherhood, said what I think most mothers feel, "I knew I'd love my children, but I never knew how much I'd like them." They're amazing beings that make me laugh and make me think and push me to become better, which is more than I can say about most people in the world. And they've only been on the earth for a short time. I suppose some of my recent insanity stems from the awesome responsibility I feel to make their lives the best that they can be. Once, Josh gave Jonah a haircut in the bathtub while I was out running errands. Let's just say it was unsuccessful, and left him looking. . .well, special. That night, I went to bed in tears. Jonah didn't care what his hair looked like -- and I suppose that was the point. I could dress him like a clown, red nose and all, and send him out the door, and he wouldn't think twice about it. His life is in my hands, and sometimes it's more than I can handle.

Someone recently said that the reason our mothers are so good at laying on the guilt is because it's been building up since the day we were born, and now they can finally unleash it on us. Oh, my kids are in for it. . .

Every time a bell rings....What?

I admit it. I have never seen "It's a Wonderful Life." Sure it is the quintessential Christmas movie full of morals, great messages and Christmas Cheer. But I haven't seen more than 4 minutes of it in my life. Just the part about the angel getting its wings and the part where the guy (Gary?) runs down the street and yells Merry Christmas to the movie theatre. Am I missing out? I guess it was never really a part of holiday traditions at my house. Nor was "White Christmas." Nor was "A Christmas Story." Somehow I have managed to see both of those. My friend Cha grew up on "White Christmas" so we watched that at her house one year. I found it lovely, but not really something I would do on a yearly basis. I think "A Christmas Story" is hilarious, but I don't know if I have ever sat down and watched it from start to finish. I think, in total, I have seen it about 42 times, but mostly in 5-20 minute segments spread over the course of my life.

I also am saddended by the overexposure of the following Childhood Christmas Favorites: Rudolph, Charlie Brown Christmas and How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Remember when those were "specials" and it was this magical night when they were on and you would watch and be filled with joy? When we were kids we would say that CBS stood for "Charlie Brown Specials" so that we could remember which channels to tune in to. And the funny thing is that I don't really remember ever knowing for sure when these shows we be on, nor do I remember my parents telling us. It was like it entered the collective consciousness of The Children of the world and we just knew. But now those shows are on DVD, and their soundtracks are playing at Barnes and Noble and you can buy Rudolph action figures and it all just seems so cheap and tawdry.

So what Christmas shows will my kids have fond memories of? Are there ones we are missing and should be tuning into? Heaven knows the Tivo is hurting for quality programming to take us through to the New Year. So I beseech you, gentle readers, what should we Tivo for Christmas time viewing? And am I missing out because I have never see "It's a Wonderful Life?" My Christmas spirit is in your capable hands.

What You Should STILL Be Watching by Petie

I don't know about you, but I started the fall season of T.V. happier and more optimistic than I have in years. Tivo remote in one hand, diet coke in the other, it seemed we sat down every evening for a night of pure entertainment. And then something funny happened. Very few shows continued to excite me. And then the biggest warning sign of them all: I started reading. . .a lot. Like two or three books a week. I don't blame ALL TV for my current sad state, just some. So I felt like we needed to pay tribute to those that keep me off the sauce (book addictions are way too all-consuming) and keep me glued to my Tivo, where all good mothers belong.

Sunday:

Sheepishly, I admit a guilty-pleasure fascination with Brothers & Sisters. I can't help it. And while it's not ground-breaking television, I would say it's remained fairly stable. . .maybe even improving upon its first couple of weeks. And maybe we can't be friends anymore, but I love Sally Field in this show.

The Amazing Race has continued its tried but true formula. Lots of people running around, turning their heads quickly from side to side, in an attempt to "visit" the many countries they travel to, in a really harried, stressed-out kind of way. And it entertains us. But we may be, dare we say, tiring of it? And we may also have to admit that there's not a soul in the final three teams that we don't want to slap upside the head. We root for the moms. . .but only because they could use the money for their kids and not for continuing to be real awesome models/addicts. And Rob and Kimberly continue in the stereotypical niche of "real ornery couple who really does love each other" that The Amazing Race producers have lovingly carved out every season.

I suppose if you're hankering for more TV, you should also catch Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. We WANT to support it because of the good that it does, but, if we have to hear Ty Penington tell one more couple about how "special" they are before the reveal of their master bedroom, we'll have to poke our eyes out with a fork.

Monday:

If there's one show that hasn't disappointed all season, it's Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. That no one is watching it is one of the great travesties facing our nation today. . .that and global warning, says Al Gore, though I think the former is more worthy of a documentary. It's just darn good. I love the subject matter, love the writing, love the casting. . .love it all. I'm not sure I've ever loved a cast as much as I do on this show. Only if Crystal Bernard could be brought in to be Jack (Stephen Webber)'s love interest could I possibly be more satisfied. And who knew Amanda Peet would be so great? She's brilliant.

Josh would cut my head open and remove my brain if I didn't also mention Heroes in this section. I, personally, am not that impressed. I am, however, firmly grounded in reality and like it there. I like Heroes, but Josh loves it. I'm too annoyed by the really annoying super-powers (I'm looking your way Nicki/Jessica) to like it too much. But I do love Hiro and am really glad that pixie girl is dead. But I'll still watch it. . .if only because of how much my husband loves it, and always says, "Don't forget that I'm not a hero and I have to take the garbage out after this is over" ever week. Truly.

Tuesday:

See aforementioned Gilmore Girls tirade. Still worth watching, but needing some serious retooling.

Veronica Mars has replaced the hole in my heart that was left by the sad but inevitable departure of "Felicity" some years ago. I've never recovered, but V.M. has managed some much-needed healing. It was AMAZING for the first two seasons, and it still is better written than 99% of what else is on TV, but it has taken a bit of a dive lately. I don't personally care for the new, network-appeasing three mystery format, and the recent stunt casting has been appalling (the irony of Patty Hearst playing the kidnapped heiress was dwarfed by her awful acting). . .but the word is that the story format is changing for the better, and I still love Keith Mars, Wallace, Mac and even the new, delightful Piz to keep me watching until they take my beloved show away from me.

I'm in love. With Gregory House. Not Hugh Laurie -- just Dr. House. Maybe it's because he's so smart. But probably it's because he's a crotchety, unethical, drug-addicted bastard. Issues? Maybe. I'm annoyed with the cop that's "out to get him," but it's still great -- and I want to take Robert Sean Leonard and keep him in my pocket.

Wednesday:

There's nothing I love more than transformations, even if it means months of neurotic, exercise and diet-related obssession. For this reason, I love The Biggest Loser. I love sitting on my couch and thinking how awesome it would be if I'd get off my butt and do something about losing the 15 lbs. that I'm longing to lose -- my husband next to me eating a big bowl of ice cream (it's his TBL ritual). I love being astounded by Caroline Rhea's abhorrent lack of style and penchant for neon colors (neon? what?). And I love mushy Bob and his mohawk and ripped abs, believing that, if he cares that much about fatties, he'd love me, and we could run off in haze of gay man/married woman bliss!

I suppose I should also mention America's Next Top Model, because, well, I'm American, and nothing thrills me more than a patriotic search for our next top model. Oh Tyra Banks. . .if all the world loved themselves as much as you love yourself. . .we'd all be really narcissistic. Okay, it's getting old. I hate the house and the moaning (which we all know is caused by hunger -- feed yourselves, girls! You'll feel better!), but I still love me some photo shoots.

Sorry, The Nine. You were one of my favorite new shows of the season. . .and then you became really. . .uninteresting. You also tie Lost for the most annoying "slow reveal" of any TV show.

Lost is on hiatus, and even though it's really mysterious and annoying and every week I yell at my TV, "Thanks for the answers, JJ!," I still watch. It's that addicting.

Thursday:

I couldn't be more thrilled about "Must See TV." I don't watch "My Name is Earl" and some may have issue with that, but I never have and I never will, so let's move on.

I love, love, love The Office. The most awkward 30-minutes on TV. And oftentimes the most sweet, touching and hilarious of the week. And I don't even mind that Pam and Jim haven't gotten together. I love the journey so much, it doesn't matter.

30 Rock. Oh, Judy. Funny. And if Alec Baldwin doesn't win an Emmy, I'm giving him mine. Two weeks ago, I almost fell of the couch in a fit of hysterics as Baldwin shot his promotional material. Genius. I know we overuse this word and, some might argue, shouldn't reference an actor on a 30-minute sitcom, but, in this case, I disagree. And Tina Fey. . .you're a peach.

Rounding out the line-up is Scrubs. It's quirky and zany and a little unstable, but it's like that stray puppy that you would love if you loved puppies, which I don't (beside the point) in that it's endearing and cute and, in this case, doesn't leave hair all around the house or drool.

You really shouldn't leave the house at all on Thursdays. I know our Tivo is working overtime. You MUST be watching Grey's Anatomy, as it never disappoints. Miranda Bailey could make me watch anything, even if it includes broody Isaiah Washington, the most unlikeable person in real-life. I love the interns. They're funny and great-looking and make me think that I should have gone to medical school because surely I'd be funny and great-looking like them too!

Finally, folks, it's Ugly Betty. Didn't get the big whoop in the beginning. But it's fun. And I love that cute America Ferrera. The story line with the dead lady is such a snooze, but that's why we have Tivo -- I can make it disappear.

Let me also put in a bit of a plug for the newly revamped O.C. It's better than it has been in years, and while that's not saying much, it's noticeably more clever after the death of special Marissa, whom I would've killed myself if she wasn't just a TV character. I can also continue my huge crush on Sandy and his bushy eyebrows, who I'm quite convinced could fit in my shoe, he's such a miniature man.

That's it, folks. No shows on Friday or Saturday. I suppose you can't believe how much TV I watch, and to you I only say: that's nothing. I'm also watching CSI, Law & Order: SVU, The Bachelor (I enjoy self-torture), What About Brian, Shark, Survivor, Justice, and daily viewings of Oprah and E! News. Not to mention the shows on TLC and HGTV. And Friday Night Lights is in tube storage.

All of this talk of TV has made me want to put down that book and start watching! You should too!