Gender Identity Issues

Table and Singlepot
So I was at McDonald's today. I am a frequent customer, most often when the weather is bad and I can't face any other outings. The kids run around, I get my diet coke and french fries, and all is well with the world. Except today, when I discovered that the happy meal toys were divided, as they often are, by gender. Yu-Gi-Oh! for the boys and The Littlest Pet shop for the girls. But my two boys wanted the pets. . .and couldn't have cared less about the others.

Even while ordering them the "girl's meal," I began to feel a bit sick to my stomach (and no, it wasn't the food). Then, the toys arrived. One was a white cat on a peach pedastal with a heart-shaped keychain, the other similarly designed, but a monkey with a pink bow. I don't know why it bothered me so much -- I couldn't stop thinking about it. Should I have ordered the other toys? Should I try to hide the toys from them now, before the other kids see? Did I force the pets upon them, and now they're going to have gender identity issues for life?

Let's be honest. . .there's not much we can do about the things to which our children take a liking. They both gravitate toward the trucks and trains, and our stuffed animals are high on a shelf in the playroom. But I like it that way, and, I suppose, am at least partially the reason they love what they love. You don't see dolls and strollers in the playroom. They own one million matchbox cars, and they surely didn't do anything to earn the money to buy them for themselves. At one point, I put those stuffed animals on the high shelf and haven't introduced them since. Am I perpetuating the gender stereotype that I feel I'm too socially evolved to uphold? And, if I am, should I be bothered by it? And, if I shouldn't, why do I (see guilt-ridden emotional breakdown at McDonald's)?

On Oprah the other day, Julia Roberts, made even duller by her new motherhood, said what I think most mothers feel, "I knew I'd love my children, but I never knew how much I'd like them." They're amazing beings that make me laugh and make me think and push me to become better, which is more than I can say about most people in the world. And they've only been on the earth for a short time. I suppose some of my recent insanity stems from the awesome responsibility I feel to make their lives the best that they can be. Once, Josh gave Jonah a haircut in the bathtub while I was out running errands. Let's just say it was unsuccessful, and left him looking. . .well, special. That night, I went to bed in tears. Jonah didn't care what his hair looked like -- and I suppose that was the point. I could dress him like a clown, red nose and all, and send him out the door, and he wouldn't think twice about it. His life is in my hands, and sometimes it's more than I can handle.

Someone recently said that the reason our mothers are so good at laying on the guilt is because it's been building up since the day we were born, and now they can finally unleash it on us. Oh, my kids are in for it. . .