MMM Mondays: I'm His Dad

Every Monday I am reposting blogs which originally appeared on another blog I used to write for, Modern Mormon Men. Here is a post about Noel and his Asperger's Syndrome. See the original post here.

N at Disneyland.

My son N was never an easy child. As a baby, he was fussy and didn't eat well. He slept restlessly and woke us up for years at 5 a.m. As a toddler, he seemed easily shook up. At home he did OK, but anything out of our routine was a bit of a nightmare. We have vacation home movies where it seems like he is crying in every shot. Our first born had had colic, so we just assumed that N was a tough baby too, and left it at that.

As N got older, there were elements of his behavior that felt a little different somehow. Every kid goes through phases, but these phases felt longer and more relentless. By the end of N’s first year of pre-school, we knew something was off. He was arguing with other kids, refusing to follow directions and there were a couple of times we had to come to the school and pick him up because his behavior was too much for the teacher to handle.

Late last year, with the help of a great pediatrician, a lot of prayer, and a lot of research (done by my wife who knew in her heart this wasn’t just a phase), N was eventually diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome.

Asperger’s Syndrome is on the autism spectrum and it is typically defined as people who have difficulty communicating and socializing with others. They see the world though a literal lens and have trouble understanding nuance, flexibility and adapting. Kids with Asperger’s typically have a singular focus - something they are obsessed with that they spend all their time thinking about. While Asperger’s is more understood now than it was a generation ago, when hearing about it, people still give you a bit of a blank stare. N is not retarded (and really, can we just do away with that word all together?). He can’t count things really fast (like Rainman.) He is not stupid. His intelligence is not developmentally delayed at all.