MMM Mondays: What is my Modern Mormon Manhood, Anyway?

Eariler this year I stated writing for a new website called Modern Mormon Men. I have since decided to no longer write for them, but had a few posts over there that I was proud of and a couple that stirred up some controversy. I am going to be republishing them here, one each Monday, so that they can become part of this blog, and not get lost somewhere in the ether of space and time. This was my first post for them and it became quite scandalous. See the original post (and angry comments about how I have failed as a member of society and am a bad father!) here. If you read this the first time around, there is nothing new here, but feel free to comment anyway. I measure my self-worth by your comments. 

Me and my boys making cookies a few years ago.

My manhood and I have had always had an evolving relationship. I am not what most people think of as a typical guy. I am, generally speaking, not into "typical" guy things. I am not, nor have I ever been, an athlete. I don't watch any type of sport on TV, unless you count Top Chef. In fact, the only way I know that major sporting events are occurring is when Facebook lights up with everyone's commentary about whose team is winning or losing, or why Utah fans are better than BYU fans. Usually I am not sure what sport is even being played. I don't like camping. I prefer Nancy Drew to The Hardy Boys. I am confused by Home Depot (why do they need so many kinds of screws?) I have no idea what a jimmer is.

But I grew up in a home where manhood was more rigidly defined. I have five brothers and three sisters who are almost all athletes. When I was born, the second son, it was likely assumed that I would be an athlete too. I remember playing T-Ball when I was about six, and taking a golf clinic in my early teens. It was pretty much the end of my organized sports career. When I was a teen, my activity in the church was sometimes questioned. I went to all of my Sunday meetings, but rarely went to young men/scouts during the week. Most weeks they played basketball. Occasionally they worked on merit badges - neither one was really my scene. So no, I am not an eagle scout. (Sorry - do I get kicked off the blog now?) I remember once finding out that young men in my ward had been given the assignment to find out what I liked so they could plan activities that I would attend. I am grateful for that leader who wanted me to be involved, but also kind of chuckle that the idea of a boy who didn't want to play basketball or go camping left them so flummoxed.

In high school and college, I did theatre. I don't think my parents were expecting to have to come and sit through a lot of poorly done Shakespeare when they had a son, but they were always very supportive and never missed a performance. I am sure they sat through a lot of poorly done shows just for the 15 minutes or so that I might be on stage. But when I did Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, my senior year of high school, my dad was so proud when he watched me perform that he actually cried.